Hi, I’m not a pilot myself, but my boyfriend is about to start at ATP in June. He already has his private so he’ll only have to go for 5 months. He’s 21 right now with around 67 hours.
My biggest question is, how can I support him? I’m moving into an apartment with him to help cover groceries, rent, utilities, etc while he’s in training to get everything done. I know he won’t have any time outside of studying and focusing on his flying. I want to support him as much as I can, but I’m not sure what he actually needs. Thanks for any advice you can give to me or him!
Your boyfriend is very fortunate to have such a supportive person in his life. As you said you know ATP will be his primary focus for 5mos and your correct. The thing is that’s easy to say but it might be a little more challenging when it’s actually happening. We’re all human and need attention and there will probably be times when you’re feeling a bit neglected. That’s understandable but you need to understand the program is extremely challenging and his success is dependent on him working harder than he ever has. What I’m saying is you may need some support yourself and it might not be there. To and understand, know that it’s only 5mos and that he’s doing it for both your futures. It also helps if your a good cheerleader for those times when he’s questioning his abilities but I sense that won’t be a problem for you.
I can definitely see where you’re coming from. Thinking it and living in it are two different things. I’ve always tried to be understanding as much as I can, but this may be to a whole new level. I never thought about the fact that I need a good support system as well. That’s a really good point. I honestly don’t have much of one and establishing one before he starts, just might be the best thing to do.
I really appreciate you seeing me as a good cheerleader already. We’re very lucky to have each other and support each other just as much. I’m attending college online with honors so I can begin to understand the dedication it will require, but of course not even close to the magnitude ATP will require. I’m trying to learn more about ‘his world’ but there’s just so much when it comes to flying. One step at a time, but now I know where to start!
I think you are supporting him in every way that he needs just by being there.
To echo what’s been said already, don’t forget to live your own life. Of course you should cherish the moments that the two of you get together, but expect him to be largely unavailable. That’s what it’s so important to have your own thing and your own support system.
You’re absolutely right. I’ll have to figure out a balance of my own life but also to support him at the same time. It sounds like one of the best things to support him, is to support myself. I absolutely love the advice y’all have given me.
Anna,
You couldn’t have said it better, “the best way to support him is to support myself”. You’ve already helped him tremendously by creating a stable environment to come home to. Not worrying about household finances, having food on the table and a place to rest. The last piece of the puzzle is just being there for him for the ups and downs of training. The best gift for him is letting him be able to invest 100% knowing he has a support system in you, and that you have one as well.
-Hannah
I would add to this that after your boyfriend is finished with training, move to wherever he is based. Commuting to and from this job will take a toll on him and on your time together. You will have a happier husband and a better marriage if he does not commute.