My first 6 weeks at ATP and fear or flying

Student Experiences
1

Read down about my Anxiety/fear - I’d really appreciate feedback on the topic.

Well, it’s been about 6 weeks into the program and I’m currently working on solo prep and should be soloing later this week.

Turn the clock back to my first few weeks, I didn’t have a great first experience. I’m 28, my now prior CFI is/was 22. Our age gap wasn’t huge but maturity level and wisdom seemed far apart. Even during the first week I could sense something was off. He was never really rude to me or anything but I just felt like I didn’t have much guidance and now looking back, I realize My intuition was correct. After a childish mistake he made via text, I quickly switched CFIs and luckily have one I fully trust and one that CARES and is in his mid 30s! Now training feels completely different, I’m studying more because my first CFI kept telling me I was on track - I really wasn’t and we didn’t have much on record for ground lessons…

My new CFI has helped shake off some of my fear/anxiety about maneuvers. Stalling is now almost boring and casual in a way. He’s VERY relaxed when maneuvering - NOT complacent, but relaxed which relaxes ME. He tells me all the time if you throw us into a spin I’m going to just casually fix it, you can’t do ANYTHING I can’t recover us from.

The fear part:

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself and flying, it’s the fact that I’m more afraid of it than I realized… I didn’t start this program with a ton of fear of flying - just general anxiety for someone new. yes, over the past 6 weeks I went from REALLY afraid of it to now trusting the structure of the plane and I can fly and completely function. Thanks to my new CFI, he let me “mess” around with the plane and him showing me things to help me trust the plane. Now my new biggest fear is collision avoidance. Here in Mesa/Gateway, it’s very busy in the air.

However, I’m at this weird point… I’m going to be soloing this week which I’m not horribly nervous about - doing touch and gos in traffic pattern is easy and I could do it right now. But I’ve learned I’m STILL afraid of flying in general! I have this odd anxiety about studying and making sure I’m mentally on track as well as this anxiety about actually flying still nagging me emotionally and mentally. As odd as it is, I’m more comfortable flying at 3000 feet than at 9000 feet - I know, altitude is my friend of something goes wrong but I still feel more “at home” closer to the ground.

What if I don’t get over this fear? Is it POSSIBLE that I won’t? Has ANYONE ever known pilots that started out with this fear and gotten over it? As I’ve mentioned, I’ve definitely gotten BETTER as far as anxiety and my CFI is genuinely impressed with my maneuvers at this point in the program. He has complimented me on my radio/Comms abilities as well.

I’m already anxious about all the checkrides and all the BS I hear evaluators pulling on students. So there’s that annoying anxiety about the exam that’s driving me to keep studying but I still have a general anxiety about flying and as of Now, I’ve only done one dual cross country flight and THAT was nerve-racking as well because of all the new things I had to do along the way and the thought of doing solo XC is really freaky to me right now…

TL:DR
while I’m having fun flying and learning, I’m still anxious and afraid. The fear is decreasing and maneuvers such as stalls now create little to no fear but general anxiety of flying still exists - especially higher up and cross country. Have you known anyone that started with a fear of flying that later went on to be a full-blown commercial pilot? It would REALLY suck to keep pushing through the program and never lose my fear of flying.

2

Kyle,

I don’t think age really matters when it comes to flight instructing. Maturity of course matters, but that doesn’t just come with age. In the airlines you will fly with training instructors that are younger than you and will most certainly fly with Captains that are younger than you. Not saying that your first CFI didn’t have an attitude, just that it isn’t necessarily an age matter.

The anxiety and fear that you describe seems a bit foreign to me. I feel like at this point in your training, you should have gotten over it. It is normal to have some fears and anxiety all throughout your career, but not to the level you describe. You might want to finish up to your private license, then re-evaluate where you stand.

I wouldn’t describe what examiners do as “BS”. They are tasked with following FAA guidelines and yes, trying to rattle you a bit to see how you do under pressure.

I am sorry, but I don’t have any real guidance for you. Only you can determine if you will be able to get over this or not.

Chris

3

Thanks for the reply, Chris!

Yes I agree, the age doesn’t really matter but maturity level does. I was just saying we are still quite similar in age but seemed very much different.

As for the examiner BS, I was referring to some very specific stories I’ve heard about an examiner who apparently owns his own flight school but has a tendency to fail ATP students for his own benefit. I’ve also heard about those stories of examiners trying to stress students out and I totally get why they do that. It’s just the conflict in interest ones I’ve heard of that seem genuinely unfair. But it is what it is! And I obviously don’t know all the facts, I’m just hearing reports and rumors and none of it is my own experience of course.

I was afraid you’d say that - I’ll keep pushing on and will see how I feel moving forward. Thanks!

4

Kyle,

I’ve come across a few students with the kind of anxiety that you described. Some of them were able to overcome their fears, but most of them did not. Without having flown with you, it’s hard to determine where your fear comes from. From experience, the anxiety felt by the newer students stemmed from a lack of understanding and/or trust in one’s self to execute the operation as safe as possible. This could also be related to a general fear of failure.

You and your CFI need to work together as a team to figure out why you’re anxious when you fly. It could be several things. It could be situational. I can’t guarantee that uncovering the roots of your anxiety will “fix” your situation, but it’s a start. For some, being aware of one’s weaknesses and finding a solution is all it takes. For others, a check ride pass gives the student the boost of confidence they need to know that they can succeed in this program. Then there are some students that just can’t keep up with the accelerated pace and need more time to assimilate. Or you could be a combination of these examples. Or something totally different. That’s why I say work with your CFI on this. I’m sure you already are. Hopefully I’ve given you a different perspective.

Tory

5

Kyle,

As the others have said, in my experience some get past or over the fear and some don’t. I actually flew with an FO years ago who confided in me that he was actually “terrified” every time he flew. Apparently he didn’t know what to do with his life, had started flight training to try and overcome his fear and it just steam-rolled from there. He said he basically put all his faith in the Capt’s he flew with and believed if he was ever in an emergency he’d be “useless”. This was obviously not a good situation and he knew it as well. Last I heard he became an accountant?

Hopefully as you gain confidence you’ll also gain some comfort.

Adam

6

Hey Kyle, out of curiosity, do you experience anxiety from other things besides flying? Or does it only arise when you are flying?