Sonny,
I am a man of many places, sometimes I commute from Norfolk or South Bend and sometimes I spend my time in New Jersey. When I commute I would say that most trips are commutable on one end or the other, but generally not both. For example, the trip that I am on now would have required me to come in a day early, but I would be able to commute out the day I finish the trip. If you look at my schedule through the lens of a commuting pilot you could generally add one day of commuting to each trip.
Commuting typically involves checking the flights a few days out, then keeping a careful eye on them as your commuting day approaches. If the weather is good and the flights have seats then I usually plan to arrive in EWR at least six hours prior to when I am going to start work, if not more. I never leave myself one flight, I always have a backup. If the weather is forecast to be bad than sometimes I have to leave a full day early to account for that.
I would strongly advise you to move to wherever you are based, you will have so much more time at home and so much less stress. That being said, many pilots feel that it is worth it to be able to live where they chose.
Chris